retreat

every once in a while, i come to this blog as a retreat from other places. it's quiet here, and i feel like it's a little secret. i have a lot (i think, too much, actually) of followers on tumblr, and i don't feel like i can really say much about myself without exposing myself. i don't like that. there's no way i'm going to start saying junk on facebook, since that site is so tacky. here, i feel better. i have a small audience. only a few people know about this blog, and i think i'll keep it that way. plus, i doubt that the people on tumblr following me actually click the link to this blog. it's nice.

anyway, i've been thinking about a few things that i need to put into work.

• i need to start taking more pictures. with my digital and with my film.
• with that being said, i actually need to get film developed. i have two complete rolls sitting on my dresser and one more in my camera that's almost complete and by then, i'll have three rolls. i've been so diligent before about not letting the rolls pile up because i know how bad that gets. (i had about 14 rolls waiting to get developed last december, oy) but. the walgreens that i go to for film processing was shut down for about a month and a half because of a fire, so i was stuck. now it's open again, but for some reason, i'm skeptical about going back because i have this fear that the developing won't be the same. i just don't want to fuck up my film. or rather, have them fuck up my film.
• use this blog a little more. especially with more personal posts. i have to have some outlet, right? tumblr and facebook aren't really an option anymore.

both photos by barbara & michael leisgen: mimesis, 1970s

morning surprises

woke up early to go to the bank, buy you donuts (one glazed, one bavarian cream-filled) (i wanted to surprise you), and drop off this film. came by your house and you opened the door, eating a piece of toast with peanut butter smeared all over it. i walked into your kitchen and said "i got something for you!" and when i showed you the little bag of donuts, you looked so happy yet so upset that you already ate. i guess surprises don't always have to work our flawlessly, just the intent matters in the end.

summer, so far

one week ago, i took my last (graded) exam in probably the hardest semester of nursing i've had so far. mental health was seriously a force to be reckoned with, but after it all, i've learned so much and I wouldn't change a thing. it was the biggest 8-week learning experience, hands down. i have about 3 weeks of summer vacation before the next semester starts back up, and to be honest, i would rather have this short break rather than 2.5 months off. i wouldn't know what to do with myself. and really, having this break be so short just forces me to cherish all of the sweet time i do have.

here's some photos from the first week (give or take a few days).

"I thought it was mustard cause yellow means mustard, but then it came out red so I thought it was ketchup, but it wasn’t even ketchup…it was cocktail sauce."

salmon and creme

the colors.