pumpkin

today in class i found myself craving paul's mom's pumpkin pie. just writing this is making me salivate. oye.


photo by caroline fm.

happy.

oh how i wish i could've captured that moment on film. i don't think my words are enough, either. i've been searching for a picture to accompany this post, but nothing quite cuts it like it should. this'll have to do.

i drove to your house. it was raining moderately outside, and we went out to go get sushi for dinner. to go. we waited in the restaurant and watched the fish in the aquarium dart back and forth. we went back in my car, and i drove us back. you had your arm around me as i drove. we were stopped at a light, and i looked over at you and you looked at me, and a smile unfolded on both of our faces. a quiet, earnest smile.

for as long as i can remember, i haven't been able to just smile at someone like that and have them smile back at me. i always end up laughing. and i know we've both smiled at each other like that before, but it's just the fact that we can.
i've never loved anyone like i love you.

there are just some moments i wish i could have captured on film. but maybe there are some moments too beautiful to be captured by anything but our hearts.


12 fingers - young the giant
"your heart beats just like i wanted it to, and you want it too."


where i thought i met the angels - the tallest man on earth
i came across this song today. the guitar is perfect for quiet nights and reminiscing.


photo by sarak hellas.

tapioca

sometimes you just need to surprise your boyfriend with tapioca and thai tea (and pull up to his house and notice that he's outside lifting weights). sweaty kisses are better than no kisses at all.

oh how i wish i brought my camera. i hate having this feeling.

photo by chibi mech.

retreat

every once in a while, i come to this blog as a retreat from other places. it's quiet here, and i feel like it's a little secret. i have a lot (i think, too much, actually) of followers on tumblr, and i don't feel like i can really say much about myself without exposing myself. i don't like that. there's no way i'm going to start saying junk on facebook, since that site is so tacky. here, i feel better. i have a small audience. only a few people know about this blog, and i think i'll keep it that way. plus, i doubt that the people on tumblr following me actually click the link to this blog. it's nice.

anyway, i've been thinking about a few things that i need to put into work.

• i need to start taking more pictures. with my digital and with my film.
• with that being said, i actually need to get film developed. i have two complete rolls sitting on my dresser and one more in my camera that's almost complete and by then, i'll have three rolls. i've been so diligent before about not letting the rolls pile up because i know how bad that gets. (i had about 14 rolls waiting to get developed last december, oy) but. the walgreens that i go to for film processing was shut down for about a month and a half because of a fire, so i was stuck. now it's open again, but for some reason, i'm skeptical about going back because i have this fear that the developing won't be the same. i just don't want to fuck up my film. or rather, have them fuck up my film.
• use this blog a little more. especially with more personal posts. i have to have some outlet, right? tumblr and facebook aren't really an option anymore.

both photos by barbara & michael leisgen: mimesis, 1970s

salmon and creme

the colors.

simple

string lights, white and brick walls, sunny windows
all things i want in my future residence


all photos by simply photo

european influence

two nights ago i had a dream about being at an open european cafe, sitting alongside someone special to me.

first photo by aurelie auger, second photo by lita, third photo by unknown photographer.

missing manhattan

i keep missing manhattan more and more.

today in church i kind of zoned out and realized how close i am to everything.

for the first time, i felt like i could touch it. for the first time.

got a little flame in my heart now telling me i'm not going back.

i mean- the notion of living in NYC has always been a HUGE driving force in my life, but today i feel like it's hell bent and absolutely nothing can stop me now.

this post is probably a little bit too personal for me to be putting it up online. but, whatever.

everything is so exciting right now.

this week: studying, studying, lecture, test, practicum, careplans, last clinical :(

next week: studying, studying, studying, IAMDONALD (!!!!!!!!), last lecture, practicum

third week: studying, studying, studying, studying my face off, FINAL, studying, HESI

then break! i'm stressed, but it feels good. i think i'm more excited than stressed.

ready to start - arcade fire

finally got into them last night, i'm happy i did. i like the suburbs a lot.


first and last picture by joshua sinn, second by damien polegato, third by dave knapik.

not going back

 

i don't think i can even begin to elaborate on how much i love donald glover/childish gambino.

all of his stuff goes so hard. it takes my heart and twists it and rings it out and tells me to get back up and fuck whatever made me this way, cause i'm better than that now. 

and then leaves me aching for more.

it makes me appreciate music.

and makes me appreciate hard work and inspires me to keep going.

keep going, keep going, keep going. 

have fun, but keep going.

"i refuse to go back to not liking who i was"

gif by the lovely gracie, second photo by kevin rank. 

video is from CG's impromptu show at chandler's steakhouse last night in boise, idaho.

mornings

raw mornings

where the only things that matter are the yolk and the solitude

thin like the line between love and hate

let me dope you

feeling really in my element lately. feels good.

sleep

i wish i could sleep. i wish i could stop being so tired.

well, bye march

what i wore today.

oxford shirt: old navy

cardigan: h&m

denim: BDG

watch: kenneth cole

oxfords: target

nail polish: rock the crock, essie

spring theory

spring theory: a set on polyvore

i like this so much, even the name.

well, i've already got that backpack and a moleskine. getting glasses similar to that within the year.

must find cheaper alternatives to everything else!

ready for summer

i see you shine in your way,

go on, go on, go on.

giving up the gun - vampire weekend

first photo by brian ferry.

soft edges

i like all the textures here.

first photo from knifed, last photo from angeles pena.

work it

back to the grind. 

photo by teresa.

apt

been thinking about my future life, and my future apartment.
coffee of course, white sheets, long hair, cozy sweaters, lots of light, and cameras.

pictures in order: brian w. ferry, holly stanton, titta wolf

poindexter

feeling a little like a badass today style-wise, which is funny because i spent my entire day in scrubs and/or my bed. (okay definitely not with scrubs and in my bed, that's terrible)

today i hung and spiked my first IV bag!

i also thrifted a pair of gap khakis and a pair of levi 517s. the latter, i'm turning into some cutoffs.

as far as other things go - okay who am i kidding, there's always a little CG love in every blog post nowadays - i just downloaded poindexter and i'm really liking it so far. a little ashamed to be admitting that i just downloaded it, but there you go. 

grind - childish gambino
definitely fell in love with this within the first 15 seconds.

dress from rachel antonoff